So I got to sleep this morning c. 2am and got up when my alarm went off at 6.40 and am consequently ANGRY AT THE ENTIRE WORLD WHY GOD WHY. See, I turned my light off and my ipod off at a roughly sensible hour—shortly before midnight—and then proceeded to spend the next two hours worrying about exams, why I was still awake, why I was cold, whether I should get another blanket, which blanket I should get, whether just huddling in the middle of my bed for another 15 minutes or so would do the trick, et cetera.

And while I was in the shower I composed a completely hilarious and literary lj/dw post about my pain and how it makes me suffer, but somewhere between there and here I have lost it all. Oh my life. Oh my life.

Things to do today:
- drink a lot of caffienated beverages
- not cry under desk
- write out notes for at least one and preferably 2 of the smaller torts while at work
- pick up squaringkarma at Borders at 5
- come home and reread/write out notes for contract formation and possibly unconscionable bargain
- write lolarious ode to leftover fish curry (it's what's for dinner) (no seriously)
- wail to my flatmates about how difficult my life is
- get to sleep before midnight, jesus fuck

This evening I made lemon sugar cookies and wrapped up a pair of tiny, tiny pink baby shoes with ducklings to take to a baby shower for a workmate tomorrow night. Late last year she and I went out drinking with a few other workmates and ended up at the Dixon St toilets at 1am on a Friday morning, drunk off our faces and eating pies. In a few weeks, she's going to be a mum. I really like her and her partner—they're a really sweet couple who got together when she was 23 and he was 18—and I think they're going to be awesome at the parenthood thing. It's weird, though; she's by far the closest to me in age in my team (and, actually, she's 30, and there are maybe 5 staff members in the entire office in their 20s out of a staff of 85ish).

The lemon sugar cookies are really good.

I have been sleeping shittily for the past few weeks, getting about 6 hours sleep on worknights. I don't know. It takes me forever to get to sleep because my toes are cold or my nose is cold or I'm thinking about, like, the tragic/hilarious Mary-Sue of the Week and her life drama. And then I wake up every morning at twenty to seven when my alarm goes off, overheated and cranky. Sigh. I'm currently planning out my annual leave for the rest of the year. I've a week off in late August, during which I'm going to Auckland to visit my parents and jessikast, and with the 14 other days of leave I'm vaguely planning adventures.

I picked up my douchebag pirate heels today—they're douchebag shoes because they, uh, have a collar which I can pop; they're pirate heels because that's what someone in my Contract class called them.

( shitty cellphone pics )

Anyway, they're suede. tamarillow thinks I should spray them with a waterproofing thing. Her reasoning is as follows:

• If I do not spray them, it will rain when I next wear them. This is because I live in Wellington!
  
• When they get rained on, they will be ruined.
  
• This will make me sad.
  
• I will talk about my sadness a lot, and this will make my flatmates sad too.
  
• Nobody wants that.
  
• Therefore I should spray my heels or else tamarillow will give me a thumping.

Aside from that I had a fairly crappy day: I spent about 4 hours testing something that did not work as intended AT ALL, wrote a fairly shitty page-and-a-half long email about this, talked to a teammate about it, realised a bit of it did in fact work, wrote another email about THAT, had discussions with 3 different people about this, and now it's going back to the developers. Also my Contract class SUCKED ASS. ASS. I am SO CONFUSED. *vexed*

We had dinner at the Matterhorn tonight, and that was fairly glorious—pricey, at about $65 each, but delicious food. Service reasonably quick, although it would have been awesome if they had told us about the menu changes BEFORE we had made our picks. Cocktails were all good; the starter chips were freakin' delicious, all crispy and salty and yuuuuum; and both my main and dessert were nice. It was noisy and not very well-lit, but I can see why it's such an institution.

... you know, I kind of know shark week is coming because I keep having violent fantasies of beating someone up with a police truncheon. I think the person I beat up is a cop, maybe? I blame Vinnie Jones movies and also society.

So tonight I was the first one home, and so of course when I got to the front door it was locked. And I opened my handbag and rummaged around searching for what I just knew would open it: my electronic keycard for work. Yeah.

Today I have achieved study! I am currently taking a break from that so the things I have reminded myself of stick in my head (maybe) and also because I lost all concentration. Also I blew up some Mayans playing Civ IV (with nuclear weapons. I felt guilty, even in game-land. Weird, that) and won because my culture was AWESOME. And Victorian, so presumably corseted! Yay!

Even I can't follow my thoughts sometimes. If this is true, how can I expect anyone else to? *sadface*

Ooh, but I'm fairly confident that I'm learning things - even if I have no attention-span worth mentioning (although I have!) - even if I don't understand why I can sit at work coding the same damn document for hours on end, sometimes days, for weeks and months through revisions and massive structural overhauls and the lawyers passing me pages and pages of handwritten amendments to make, and yet I cannot sit down on a day off work and do more than 2 hours of schoolwork before having to go and be somewhere else. I think I'd make a good lawyer, but I'm damned sure I don't make a good law student.

Maybe I should listen to some Dire Straits and read some fic and eat some dinner and then tackle the NZ drinking age law reform issue we did: no longer relevant in my life AT ALL, but I'm pretty sure I can remember most of the main players from class, and if not I can always use my BA to good effect and bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

...I'm now trying to convince myself that reading Valerie Solanas counts as studying because it vaguely ties into feminist jurisprudence.

Today I got my hair cut and now I have a fringe and the rest of my hair is flicky and short. Also tamarillow and I made fantastic beef stew with carrots and red wine and red onion and tomato. And I did washing.

It freaks me out that lj is set up to automatically put in a space when I type a comma in the tags field.

... looking back on posts for the last couple of months, it is fairly obvious that I post a lot more often when I have major things in my life that make me angry and/or stressed. My last ten posts or so are all whiny; the whine is broken by me, like, talking about my cat or something; and then I whine some more. I hope at least they're kind of funny. Yeah.